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First attempt was one line for both hands above my head, but again seemed too easy to wriggle out of and it didn’t really result in me being stretched out fully on the bed. My mind kept racing back and forth between how foolish I must look arranging this plan and the imagery of my wife using me for her sexual pleasure while I was stretched out helpless on our bed.I decided to retie the lines to the side of the bed and made two separate lines, ensuring each had a loop just barely large enough to force my wrist through and pulling it down over the bone of my wrist with the other hand. Once the loops were perfect I retied the lines under each side of the bed, again with the loops just barely making their way to the top edge of the mattress. I checked the loops at the end of each line. I laid down once again with a foot on each loop and a wrist laying on the open loops of the others. For a moment I stared at the ceiling and tried to figure out what exactly my plan was from here.. Tell me why!”She smiled softly, reached out and caressed my jaw. “When you can go into Addison’s room, then you’ll be ready.”As much as it hurt to hear it, the truth hurt even more. Kimber was right. I’d avoided Addison’s bedroom, forever closed, my way of avoiding painful memories, shut away in a corner of my mind.I was happy, yet the ghost of her hovered. While Kimber slept, I wrestled with fear. Opening her bedroom would open memories I had pushed down. I’d never faced the loss, accepted, the prospect terrifying me. I could never forgive myself.Maybe Kimber was right. Maybe she was far, far more insightful than I gave her credit for.I slept restlessly, tossing and turning so much Kimber complained. She was bright and energetic in the morning, giving me smiles and a kiss before heading off to class.I moped. I wandered the house at loose ends, the closed door down the hall threatening me; something I feared. Twice I approached it and turned away.Mid afternoon, I sipped scotch -.
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